Dating a recovering alcoholic advice
He could well be genuine, and as Freedom pointed out earlier, there are many, many good and decent people found in the rooms of AA.Let us not judge every alcoholic as being a serial relapser/emotional abuser - there are many who aren't. Unless someone intends to drink again under certain nebulous conditions, their previous drinking history is irrelevant to a future relationship. My past is my greatest asset in sharing with the newcomer. I also need a man with a full time job, his own things, no debt, volunteers, and a whole bunch of other stuff that never appeared on my list before.I might have faith, based on current behavior and some significant history, that they would not but I would never be 100% certain/guaranteed.
I don't date and have no intentions of dating because I don't trust myself at all yet in that regard. There are no doubt some super fabulous catches out there that are 5'2". Also, there is nothing on this planet that could guarantee me a person with a past addiction would never drink again.
I was worried about his anger, or that he would relapse, or be too stressed out or my actions would cause something bad to happen. It was his turn to learn to deal with the reality of our existence instead of us having to shrink because of the reality of .” His mother had been an alcoholic and it had stunted his life. “Run” was the best advice I received and it’s the advice I would give my daughter if she ever got involved with an addict. When I finally left my husband, I was only able to do so after taking weeks to compose a list of facts.
The reason this advice hurt so much at the time was that it would have forced me to see my part in things. At my office, I began to put together a black and white list of the things in our relationship that I could not accept.
I just no longer plan to take them home and marry them Yes of course I took them home because 'having a home' was never on my list - so they didn't - not even a hovel, lmao.
I appreciate your candor, but it only reinforces my belief to never disclose my previous struggle with alcohol unless absolutely necessary.